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The Family Attachment Center The Family Attachment Center (FACe) is a non-profit counseling center for families who have children ages 0-17 years. We provide a variety of Family Therapy Modalities along with Parent Education designed to fit the individual needs of our clients. We have parenting courses for biological, the single parent, foster and adoptive parents and the blended family. We work collaboratively with schools and childcare centers, from a partnership perspective, providing training and coaching to teachers, school counselors, and childcare workers who also work with these children who have difficult problems. We also offer specific programs for Child Care Staff as well as the children in the Child Care Centers whom they serve. Please View Our Services Page!!! FACe's Mission Statement FACe is a major contributor in creating a child-friendly, child-valuable, safe, spiritually-connected community. In order to achieve this, FACe will work to convert violence at its root and enhance loving, caring, productive individuals and happy families by working with the emotionally disturbed child and family in synchronicity. |
| Understanding Attachment When we grasp the concept of attachment as the internalized parent, we begin to understand the significance of the relationship between the child and his or her biological parents starting in the womb. We grasp the concept that every child is not just looking for love and not just looking for love from any adult, but a deep, unconditional love from his or her biological parents. We also begin to understand that no one can ever take the place of that child’s biological parent. Every child finds his or her identity in the relationship they form or don’t form with their biological parents. The child’s belief about him or herself is directly correlated with how the child is treated by his or her parents. Our self-esteem, our self-identity, and our beliefs about the world are all rooted in the relationship our biological parents form with us. When children are mistreated stepping stones towards success in school and becoming loving, productive adults become huge obstacles in life. Healing from child abuse and neglect can easily become a life-long task. When there is further understanding of attachment as the foundation of life and the internalized infrastructure system each of us operates out of; we begin to understand the manifestations of both positive attachment as well as the manifestations of poor attachment. All of us behave according to our internal beliefs about others, ourselves, and the world. It is not a mystery that there is a direct correlation between aggression and how that individual feels about him or herself. When a child does not feel loved by the individuals, who are most important to them, their BIOLOGICAL parents, they are filled with deep hurt and sadness. That deep hurt, sadness, fear, and grief is defended by anger, rage, and sometimes, even aggression. When we have been rejected and maltreated by the ones we are supposed to have the deepest trust and feel the most love, it creates a false identity. This false identity “acts out” in ways that can seem very surprising and even devastating to those who are attempting to love the child. The adoptive parent can feel rejected, deeply hurt, and even angry towards the child personalizing all of the child’s “acting out” behavior. When the adult personalizes the child’s behavior, it perpetuates the “acting out” behavior and allows the child to project all of his or her internal behaviors and beliefs continuously onto the adult. This turns into a tumultuous relationship that neither the child nor the parent wants. When this tumultuous relationship filled with power struggles, discord towards each other, and aggression-avoidance dynamics continue; it is only a matter of time that the adoptive parent wants to disrupt the adoption, avoid the child, the child avoids the parent, or both the child and parent become very emotionally disconnected. |
